Flying high?

Reading the New York Times online this week when I should have really been working, I stumbled upon a most hilarious blog posting. It reminded me of the hell I have endured since moving to California. I've become an expert at making a weekend trip to D.C. while avoiding jetlag and any of the many diseases that lurk within the dreaded airplane. Yet I can never avoid being entirely uncomfortable for the duration of my flight.

On one red eye, I was sitting by the window, and because the two people next to me were both sound asleep and I had to pee, I didn't get a wink of sleep. Another trip I spilled half of a grande latte on my crotch at the beginning of my 5.5 hour flight. And most painful yet, there was the time that I was grabbing my bag from the overhead bin at the end of my flight, and a tampon managed to wriggle free from an unzipped compartment and MIRACULOUSLY (or embarrassingly) land in the hand of the man who had been sitting next to me.

I just looked at him, snatched the OB out of his hand and said, "WOW! Thanks."

This past flight went off without a hitch (with the exception of my takeoff anxiety which is inescapable), yet I couldn't help but find things that annoyed me.

1. Why do people gather by the ticket taker even though their zone hasn't been called? Do they not realize that the seats are assigned? If they're worried about overhead bin space, then they can have mine. Ever since the tampon incident, I just shove everything under the seat in front of me.

2. The Jane Austen Book Club was the chosen movie.

3. Ugly Betty was shown after Jane Austen. This would have normally been a good thing except that every 5 seconds a line of static would shoot across the screen, which would also cancel out whatever dialogue had been uttered at that moment.

4. There was something wrong with my audio and every other second there would be a faint, yet obnoxious BEEP! This in conjunction with the static issue made Ugly Betty pretty much unwatchable.

5. After I had settled into my seat, a man with a state trooper-style mustache came to my row, said "21 E," and then proceeded to sit in the aisle seat. This seemed odd to me, since generally the aisle is D, but whatever--this man was clearly delusional so I didn't want to sit next to him anyway. It seemed like the plane was finished boarding and Officer Crazy was in the clear, when a young woman came onto the plane, stopped at our row and said, "I'm 21D."

And he looked at her and earnestly asked, "would you prefer the middle?"

Oh no he DID NOT! I had to contain my laughter. She shot him a fake smile and just said, "Um. No." You could tell she was really thinking, "bitch please!"

But I made it back to Berkeley safely, and that's all that matters, right? I guess after you've been stuck in the Denver airport for 4 days due to inclement weather, being teased by an episode of Ugly Betty doesn't seem so bad.